Royal Satire Fan Gifts

"I know it looks like terrorism, but it's actually COUNTER-terrorism."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

"King of what, exactly?"

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"It is not you. It is we."

'He's not exactly of noble birth, Daddy, but he IS a slumlord!'

Palanquin Toilet Break

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

Mick Jagger Knighthood - "I wish he'd keep still..I'll have his flaming ear off in a minute!"

"Who named him emperor!?"

"You know it's just a name, right?"

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

Snail Red Carpet

'We each agree to an eight-hour shift. He needs round-the-clock care.'

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'You'd be worried, too, if YOUR mother-in-law got a seat on the Security Council.'