Satirical Royal Enthusiast Gifts

'I've lost fifteen pounds! — the era of big government is over!'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

Royal Love

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Royal Wedding procession.

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

Reigning Cats and Dogs

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

Lady Jane Grey

'He's still addressing the nation.'

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90