Royal Humor Connoisseur Gifts

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'Do you have an appointment?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

King reaching for an apple

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Joke of a lover

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'