Royal Humor Connoisseur Gifts

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Joke of a lover

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'