Lovers Of Royal Humor Gifts

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"It is not you. It is we."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

Joke of a lover

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

'You don't get all bent out of shape when LADY GODIVA does it!'

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

"No, I wasn't abused, but I cut off my father's head anyway."

'You'd be worried, too, if YOUR mother-in-law got a seat on the Security Council.'