Lovers Of Royal Humor Gifts

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'That's Lady Erica the courtesan's courtesan.'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

'I'm tired of foreign policy -- I think I'll go interfere in the economy for awhile.'

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

'Actually, he hates having a beard †he just doesn't trust anybody to shave him.'

"No, I wasn't abused, but I cut off my father's head anyway."

Barry the XVI and Michelle Antoinette

'Is it true? -- Did you slap a tariff on mother?'

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

'You'd be worried, too, if YOUR mother-in-law got a seat on the Security Council.'