Royal Satirist Gifts

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"All rise."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

"King of what, exactly?"

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

The Queen's Speech

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'