Royal Satirist Gifts

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"All rise."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

The Queen's Speech

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

"Who named him emperor!?"