Royal Joker Pillows

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

King vs King- who's the clown?

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'How about a game of cards?'

Get crazy once in a while

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

Batman's Baby

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

The Royal Wii

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

King Pin

Complaints Desk

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Adult Absence Notes.