Roulette Gifts

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Do you have a backup plan?'

Casino

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Win/Lose Roulette

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

Destination casinos...

"Sorry miss, no split bets please."

"I call it, 'wheel'. I spin it, drop this pebble, and if you don't guess where it stops, I take your stuff."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Shepherd and eurydice

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

They hated me.

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Showbiz Awards

James Bond in a Snow Globe

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."