Roulette Rebel Gifts

"I'm sorry, God! We don't allow all-knowing people at our roulette tables."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

Destination casinos...

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Fisherman has his dinghy punctured by a swordfish.

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

Driverless Car

No skating, no parking, no loitering, no cycling, no games, no nothing

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

"Security is lax on this side."

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

No, it doesn't help when he calls it "oarabics."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

"Isn't 85 the new 55?"

Bike Lane

"Writing is... rewriting."

'I think it's for compliance with some Federal safety regulation.'

Rules and procedure

Man using roller blades on treadmill.

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

'They've got $5 tables everywhere here. Where do you feel the luckiest?'

"Sorry miss, no split bets please."

Casino

"Ma'am, are you aware of how many braggy, preachy bumper stickers you've got plastered on the back of your car?"

"I call it, 'wheel'. I spin it, drop this pebble, and if you don't guess where it stops, I take your stuff."