Roulette Fans Gifts

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

TV jester.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'I don't like to take chances.'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

Destination casinos...

"One blackbird pizza?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Finesse fishing

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Barber shop quartet

It's busy at the amusement park. The adrenaline's been having fun on the roller coaster, but the stomach cell looks queasy on the tilt-a-whirl! The hormones are going into the tunnel of love again, and the helium atoms are heading toward the complaint booth. They're saying the parachute drop didn't work for them. Any other problems down there? Yeah, the white blood cells are being kicked out. Apparently they tried to attack the staph!

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

Ballerina Boxer,"She's going for a win on pointes."

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

'When I accepted full responsibility, that was just a manner of speaking!'

Cleopatra

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'