Romantic Proposal Skeptics Gifts

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I see Charlie's really smitten with that pretty thing in the flower shop!"

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

Cupid's Valentine

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

A tortoise in love with a cat

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

Weekend Getaways with Ulrich

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."

"And you're telling me this because?"

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

"Not on my watch..."