Romantic Proposal Skeptic Gifts

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I see Charlie's really smitten with that pretty thing in the flower shop!"

The Sleeping Congregation.

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

Yes, but.

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'