Romantic Proposal Skeptic Gifts

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I see Charlie's really smitten with that pretty thing in the flower shop!"

The Sleeping Congregation.

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Cupid's Valentine

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

Yes, but.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."