Romantic Novelty Seeker Pillows

Vase Costume

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Love at First Sight

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Sitting in a tree

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Useless add-ons.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Baker Romance

Mohammad's motors

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"