Narcissistic Novelty Seeker Pillows

Autobiographer holds up a mirror to his face.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Crap from the future.

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Useless add-ons.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Mohammad's motors

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.