Romance Satirist Gifts

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

'What's it going to be tonight? A faked headache or a faked orgasm?'

'I hear the janitor has slept with every woman in our building except one.'

'You're the best thing that ever happened to me, from a financial perspective.'

'Sometimes I have a feeling you are just using me, Jason.'

'Your days of dating immature men are over! My mommy says I'm all grown up now.'

'All I want is someone who's kind and understanding, is that to much to ask in a billionaire?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Trump pardons

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

No-Work Orange

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Ghostwriting the Bible

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."