Literary Satirist Gifts

"I should like to buy a handgun while it is still legal," said Alice very gently.

"He was murdered with one of the rejection slips he sent."

Who's who - Who's googled

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'I'll publish it if you include a character obviously based on me.'

"This book is the future of literature. It is paper-free to help save the planet and completely free of words and images so no one is offended."

J G Farrell

A Tale of 2020

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Coffee-table kids' books

"I've been toiling for months to write the great American tweet."

"Do you think there's too much white on the cover?"

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," an

Waiting Room For Godot.

'To be or not to be . . . contingent on royal funding.'

"We’re very interested in your Tell-All coloring book."

William Makepeace Thackeray.

Meet the Plagiarist.

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

John Bunyan and Alfred Deakin

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Torturing the English Language

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Trump pardons

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'