Rock Star Accountant Gifts

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Branson space shot

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

Rhinestone Accountant

Open Wide The Dentist's View.

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

"All economic hope abandon ye who enter here."

"Sin tax? I love it."

'So the cuts have started then?'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Accounting's poet laureate.

Extreme Accounting!

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

'We rolled your account over last week, Sir, and now we can't find it.'

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

'My client pleads not guilty. His creative accounting software made him do it.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

"What do you mean, it's not tax deductible?!"

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'