Artful Accountant Gifts

'So the cuts have started then?'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Rhinestone Accountant

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

Accountancy - 'plein air'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

Right brain accounting.

“I can’t disagree, your methods are very creative. But… have you any practical accounting experience?”

Accounting's poet laureate.

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Extreme Accounting!

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

Broker's Report

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

". . . and at your age, it wouldn't hurt to go see the blacksmith a little more regularly, too."

'My client pleads not guilty. His creative accounting software made him do it.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"