Poetic Accountant Gifts

Accounting's poet laureate.

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"So you're a poet? I don't get exposed to much poetry these days, unless you talk about the poetry of price-to-earnings ratios."

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Rhinestone Accountant

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

Open Wide The Dentist's View.

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

Accountancy - 'plein air'

'I'm experimenting with right brain math.'

Right brain accounting.

'So the cuts have started then?'

“I can’t disagree, your methods are very creative. But… have you any practical accounting experience?”

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

Broker's Report

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I was an accountant, and they got me for thinking outside the books.'