Melodic Accountant Gifts

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Confirming the belief that music and math are related, I will now sing some lovely French equations.'

Branson space shot

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

Rhinestone Accountant

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

'Okay, now try it in the gear of 'D'.'

'So the cuts have started then?'

'This next song's about spreading risk in a volatile market by diversification.'

Accounting's poet laureate.

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

IRS - 'You had NO earned income last year?', 'That's what my boss said.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

"What do you mean, it's not tax deductible?!"

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

'We like to put the 'fun' in 'refund'!'