Stargazing Accountant Gifts

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Branson space shot

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

Rhinestone Accountant

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

"Sin tax? I love it."

"It is NOT an alien invasion. A moth landed on the lens."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

'So the cuts have started then?'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

"Is that it? Blood Moon! I'm somewhat disappointed!"

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

Real estate agent showing observatory: 'You were looking for something with a view?'

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

'I see you've laid up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Is this some sort of tax dodge?'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

"What do you mean, it's not tax deductible?!"

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'