Robotic Thespian Gifts

Robotic Prince Hamlet holding a human skull and saying "To be or not to be".

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Tabletop Theatre

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Harriet Walter

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

Ventriloquist Grave

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"We're doing a skit of Peter Rabbit at school. I'm the potting soil."

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

It's an iphone rehearsal.

"Darling Elizabeth! How I long to hold you betwixt my giant industrial clamps."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

Comedy, Tragedy and News.

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

The great bespeak for Miss Snevellicci

The children who can't handle dialog will play trees and bushes. They'll be scenery and not heard!

"The next song was inspired by thousands of other songs."

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

"O.K., I just found my wife in bed with my best friend and I go into a rage. What's my motivation?"

Sid James

Where steel wool comes from.

Teacher complaning he can't understand pupil in his course on 'Voice projection and pronunciation'

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

Baby