Part-time Thespian Gifts

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

"There's so much pressure to like monkeys."

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"They'd sold out of #1's."

It's an iphone rehearsal.

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

'I'll do half of it.'

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

Robotic Prince Hamlet holding a human skull and saying "To be or not to be".

"If I were writing fulltime, I'd have three unpublished novels by now."

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

The children who can't handle dialog will play trees and bushes. They'll be scenery and not heard!

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."

'Blimey! She's good.'

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

'I'm five, but I can play three to seven and a half.'

"Why are you playing out in your nativity play costume, son?"

'Retirement, Higgins? -- But at forty hours per week, you've only worked here thirteen years.'

Children playing divorcees