Theatrical Thespian Gifts

'Will somebody turn down the heating before we lose all of our applicants?!'

Sock Puppet in Literature

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Toi Toi Toi!"

The Witches Discover The Wok

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Falstaff

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

A pretention of playwrights

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Snail Man

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

Proposal

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Speech

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

Ventriloquist Grave

Grandfather Clock

"There's so much pressure to like monkeys."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."