Robot Repair Humorist Gifts

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

Electric Blanket.

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'No it's still not fixed'

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

"Gesundheit."

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"It's garage music."

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

The Rarely Seen Gas-Powered Eel

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I think I found your missing nut.'

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

"One CC of lubricant after meals, okay?"

'Try it now.'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

This ones causing problems with the barcode machine!

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'