Robotics Humorist Gifts

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Screen Time vs Book Time

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

Electric Blanket.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Darn autocorrect!"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Chef copy robot

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.