Roboticist Humorist Gifts

''Feet of clay'? - This was some kind of CYBORG?'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Electric Blanket.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

Sign in Simon's Books Ltd. Ask About Our High Definition Print.

What's that? A car phone. All I need now is a car.

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Man on Island.

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

Every time one of us gets a new head, those two think it's funny to call it "the changing of the gourd."

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

"I've never trusted cows."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Does he byte?"

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

With friends like you...

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"Thanks Dad. How much did you pay for this mp3 player?"

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

Reboot Me.

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."