Robot Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'...it's a robots staple diet.'

"And before I could do anything the Rugbot grabbed her hand and that was that!"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"You are still here."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robotic man mowing the lawn

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

AI Summit

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"

'Our research shows that downloading happy songs prolongs computer life by 20.'

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"They misspelled your avatar."

Computer...Computee

"And this is our totally computer automated robotic office of Human Resources,"

Invasion if the Ill prepared Giants!

"I've heard of click bait before, but this is ridiculous!"

'Whatever you do, don't push: 'control', 'alt;, 'anvil'.'