Repair Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'No it's still not fixed'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

The Fuse

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

DIY store.

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

Deux Ex Mechanic

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Acme Rubber Band Co.

'I've done most of it - You'll only need to put it together again and make it work.'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"We found the reason for that 'whining' noise, someone had left TalkRadio playing."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."