Road Trip Survivalist Gifts

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kardiff.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'Are we there yet?'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Are we broke yet?'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Better times ahead.

Yes, That Was The Exit

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Sister Cities

Street signs you don't want to see.

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"Valet park only"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Recalculating!

Roads with a view.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

Id/Ego/Superego.

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."