Riveting Raconteur Gifts

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Non Thought For The Day.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

William Tell Overture

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Social butterfly

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Max Beerbohm

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

Oscar Wilde

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

Brenda always had Safe sex

'Down on the farm!'

"And this is where I met your mum."

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

Liar's Club fish

Man with Sex Reviews.