Trailblazing Raconteur Gifts

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Non Thought For The Day.

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

William Tell Overture

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Lady of the Remote

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Max Beerbohm

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

'Down on the farm!'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

'If you embraced social media, people wouldn't doubt our existence.'

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

'I tried to join the local rambling club - but the man on the phone just went on and on and on..."

How Arthur really became king.

Businessman As A Weather Vane

Man with Sex Reviews.

'I think it's a bit rich, being told to 'clear out' of the country I was born and bred in, by a flaming welsh man!'

Soon to be a major nuclear facility.

Liar's Club fish

"Now, THAT'S a welcome sight! I was just starting to miss decision-making."

Little Bo Peep 'Internet search=sheep'

The less you know

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

"Daddy's going to read you a story."

"The good news is we're sending you overseas for this feature."

'Talk about a spread. I bet his will go 38 inches.'