Political Raconteur Gifts

The less you know

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Nation-building never works."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Laughingstock

Trump Poutine

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Tearing up the Iran Deal

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Ha! So much for environmentally friendly behaviour!"

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'