History Raconteur Gifts

'I remember when all this was banks...'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Rocket Ark

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

How Platypuses Are Born

Food Blog

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Why the dodo became extinct

According to your blog, there have been some pretty amazing things going on in your life lately, Lance. I can make my blog either accurate or interesting ... I can't make it both.

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Robot asking for money in bar code language.

Brenda always had Safe sex

"And this is where I met your mum."

"Aside from Domino’s, China Palace and Lupe’s Fiesta Garden, do you have any professional references?"

'The 'Lord's Prophet,' eh? - I don't remember voting for you!'

Jean Chretien talks about the election

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'