Braggadocious Raconteur Gifts

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Non Thought For The Day.

Follow me on Twitter...

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

William Tell Overture

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

'I was warned about online dating.'

Bank Robbery - The CEOs took the money a long time ago.

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

Max Beerbohm

'Tell my wife I can't speak to her right now. However, she can send me a fax detailing the info on whether she had a boy or a girl.'

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

Oscar Wilde

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

"Would you like to dance with me?"