Braggadocious Raconteur Gifts

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Non Thought For The Day.

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

William Tell Overture

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Max Beerbohm

'I was warned about online dating.'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

Bank Robbery - The CEOs took the money a long time ago.

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'Tell my wife I can't speak to her right now. However, she can send me a fax detailing the info on whether she had a boy or a girl.'

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

Oscar Wilde

"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."

Bird Watchers Club of America.

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

"Would you like to dance with me?"