Braggadocio Enthusiasts Gifts

"...and that one is a button for my coat."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'She's so put together!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

A little bird told me...

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Who's the new guy?'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

JET (Part I)

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Pie chart of pub conversations