Gossip Aficionados Gifts

Too Much Information.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Well, according to the scuttlebutt we're dead."

HM Women's prison - women chatting over the fence.

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

JET (Part I)

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

Trump returns home

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."