Boastful Storyteller Gifts

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Have you ever thought about climbing the highest mountain?"

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Press freedom day

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

The Battle of the Pictures.

Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

"A vibrant imagination is an excellent quality for the job...but not the CV."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

"Darn! And me without my camera!!"

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'I want a classic that reveals eternal truths, absolute justice and moral courage without challenging my basic prejudices.'

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'I was warned about online dating.'