Bold Storyteller Gifts

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Swan Fairy Tales

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Kirsten Johnson

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Sisyphus visits Stowe

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Santa's Helpers

Baby Bear.

Reading

My Spam Sketchbook

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."