Boastful Raconteur Gifts

Liar's Club fish

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Non Thought For The Day.

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

William Tell Overture

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

Oscar Wilde

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

'Down on the farm!'

Mothers. . . have no shame.

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

'On the FBI Most Wanted, I was once number 473...'

Man with Sex Reviews.

'I'm telling you it was this big!' - Anglers Wives

The less you know

'Talk about a spread. I bet his will go 38 inches.'

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

"Have you ever thought about climbing the highest mountain?"