Boastful Raconteur Gifts

Liar's Club fish

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

William Tell Overture

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

Oscar Wilde

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

Mothers. . . have no shame.

'Down on the farm!'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'I'm telling you it was this big!' - Anglers Wives

Man with Sex Reviews.

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

I'm thinking of open-carrying. Forget it, little buddy. The last thing anyone needs is for you to be running around armed. You don't know the first thing about firearm safety. Who said anything about firearms? I'm talking about open-carrying my iPad. STOP! There's nothing more disgusting than a geek who thinks he's a technology cowboy wearing his gadgets like they're weapons. Stop the madness! What do you think, Randy: Hip holster, thigh holster, or shoulder sling? STOP!!! A real man would just

'On the FBI Most Wanted, I was once number 473...'

The less you know

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

"Have you ever thought about climbing the highest mountain?"