Age-defying Raconteur Gifts

'I'll scream if one more person claps when I tell them how old I am.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

Max Beerbohm

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"75"

'You know you're 40 when...'

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"I'm starting to look old."