Rideshare User Gifts

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'Are we broke yet?'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"Sorry I'm late - my Uber driver turned out to be the Google Maps guy."

"Giddyup."

How do fish get to work?

"Hey look, pretty soon Uber is going to have flying cab service,"

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

"Hang on - I'll Uber us a school bus."

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

Cracked Down Upon by Government? There's an App for That.

"How much if I pedal?"

No Car Bar.

To make ends meet Santa becomes an Uber driver. Miami Beach, please!

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

"Aw, c'mon ma, just five more minutes. . ."

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

"Sorry for the wait. We're a low-overhead crime organization, so when we take someone 'for a ride', we use a ride-sharing service."

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Ubear.

"Maybe I can buy a self driving car, and hire it out to Uber to make the payments."

"Scuber?"

He must use Uber. I heard you contact them when you want to be picked up.

"I heard about your new job . . . congratulations!"

I also scheduled a pickup after we finish toiling in the fields. Amish Uber.