Revenge Strategist Gifts

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

"I don't get mad—I get even."

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Revenge had come.

"In the hat! In the hat!"

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."

Snail trap

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'I must admit I'm uneasy over the policy of offenders meeting their victims.'

Battle.

"I think we should have used catapults before ground forces"

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

Wife uses guillotine to trap husband sneaking in late at night.

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'You wait until I'm bigger...'

Revenge of the Mallards.

Live Bait.

"Where should we hold this confrontation then?"

'You're obsessing again.'