Revenge Plot Enthusiast Gifts

"In the hat! In the hat!"

Slug Revenge

Revenge of the Snubbed Office Supplies Salesman.

Plane writing; 'Happy Garbage Day'. Garbage man says 'Three days after I dumped her, she won the lottery.'

The Chicken's Revenge.

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

'Keep pushing, guys. Here comes the ship that ran over Ernie last night.'

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

'I must admit I'm uneasy over the policy of offenders meeting their victims.'

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

'It appears that he was given payback by his trophies.'

Ginger Snaps.

Mid-list Author Magazine

Tunnel of Vengeance.

'We find the defendant guilty, but feel his alibi would make a good premise for a John Grisham book.'

Revenge of the Mallards.

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

Mouse Dentist Removes Cat's Teeth.

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

'I must say, this is the most inspiring and heart-warming revenge memoir I've ever read!'