Revenge Tactician Gifts

"The neighbor's dog just made a deposit in our yard. We're going over there to give him his interest."

"Remember me? I'm the guy you fired three years ago.. Guess where I'm working now!"

Lynching on social media

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Jenkins here has been with the firm the longest,

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

Arsene Wenger

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

"Richard just came in - he must have had a board meeting."

Coiled snake.'Act calm,relax,take a deep breath and reach for your knife slowly.'

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

'He played every minute of three football matches on TV today.'

"'Vengeance is ours,' saith Courtland, Mumford & Blaine."

"Spoilsports"

Heroes of the Afghan War

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

'I'd like you to go work for our competition. It's the only way I know to bring them to their knees.'

Confusing the Enemy's Sense of Direction

Money in mousetrap

"Here comes Gail—everyone play dead."

"I'm not going to bother studying that section. I'm just learning to the test."

"My scheme revolves around making promises that we have no intention of keeping. . . for want of a better word, I've called it 'politics'."

"If you must go to war get there late and go home early."