Trash Tactician Gifts

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

Lynching on social media

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

Rubbish and Everest

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

Dustbin monster.

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

Bin Inspector

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Human males marking territory.

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

We're polishing our brand.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

"Did you order takeout?"

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha