Retro Tv Shows Gifts

'I want to suck your toes.' - A problem for Maxwell Smart and his shoe-phone.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

'The purple dinosaur fan thinks it's really funny that I watched Captain Kangaroo when I was a kid.'

'Hello, and welcome to Animals do the Funkiest Things.'

Bob had the misfortune of being haunted by the Three Stooges.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Huawei Five-O

The Bronze Age of Television

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'Hey! — they're rerunning the Commander Data show!'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'