Retro Television Gifts

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

Gilligan's Elevator.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

The Bronze Age of Television

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

Elderly Tarzan...

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.