Retro Television Pillows

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

Gilligan's Elevator.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Huawei Five-O

The Bronze Age of Television

"Sadie, you were around in the sixties...was 'Mad Men' accurate?"

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'Hey! — they're rerunning the Commander Data show!'

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

"Who the hell didn't rewind Jumanji 20 years ago?!?"

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'