Retirement Milestone Gifts

"You're late!"

Medication prices for the elderly

Cardiac Recovery.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Award Winning Gardener

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Woman crying with happiness.

Church Basement Foodie

'Guess what? I won again.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"The cape comes off too."

"You're right, they are statins."

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

"It makes you look old."

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Medication for the elderly

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'They want your underwear.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'