Retirement Anniversary Gifts

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Sunnydene Rest Home

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

Retirement Anxiety Race.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Fred N. Rasmussen: From Zero to Sixty in What Seemed Like Ten Seconds.

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Lady of the Cake.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Not that net!'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"